Kanguva in Marathi means a hair comb, which for someone like me is useless.

But I am not even sure why I am starting the review of this movie with this piece of information, it’s just one of the many things that came to my mind while watching it.

Kanguva is a sci-fi, fantasy, action, drama, feminist, patriotic, horror movie.

The movie starts in 2024 where a boy named Zeta escapes from a Russian facility which is brain mapping children for some weird reason. (Sci-fi)

So the boy is being chased by a bunch of English speaking Russians and he suddenly arrives in Goa where a Bounty hunter named Francis encounters him.

Now Francis has a friend named Colt who is supposed to be funny and definitely needs a Kanguva (Marathi wala).

And then for some reason there is also Disha Patani who is a rival bounty hunter in Goa. (Drama)

Frankly I didn’t know Goa had so many bounty hunters but I do get it’s Russian connection *wink*wink*

A quick word about Disha Patani’s wardrobe here.

A few months ago I lost my multiple colored banyans which I had kept out in the yard to dry. I think Disha Patani stole them and wore all of them in this movie.

But again, this is just another one of the many things that came to my mind while watching this movie.

Then the movie suddenly goes back to 1070 (oh yeah, centuries ago) where there are 5 Islands with multiple tribal warriors, everyone looking like they need a Kanguva (again, Marathi wala). (Fantasy)

Now there is a fleet with 25000 Romans who want to attack the islands to gain entry to invade the Indian subcontinent (patriotic).

Anyhoo, there is a lot of fighting during which we are introduced to Kanguva, who is actually Francis or is it the other way round? Never mind.

Now Kanguva is a super warrior who can kill entire armies and fight against crocodiles.

Infact he fights the crocodiles with such ease that he would have finished all 6 parts of Lake Placid in the first half of Part 1.

This tells us why India doesn’t make movies like Lake Placid or Anaconda, it would be really funny to watch an overgrown monster being chased by our six pack abs wala chump all over the place.

But nevermind, this is just another thing I remembered while watching the movie.

Kanguva is also a very progressive warrior who believes in women empowerment. When a bunch of women are attacked by mean warriors and they ask him for help, he clearly tells them, “You are 25, they are 15. Go for it” and they go batshit crazy chopping down the hooligans. Very feminist of him 👍🏻👍🏻

So the brave crocodile, snake shooting (lol yeah he literally shoots snakes from his bow) progressive warrior decides to save a little boy called Poruva and the villain played by a shirtless snarling Bobby Deol wants to kill him.

Bobby Deol looks exactly like he did in Animal only he doesn’t have threesomes, has longer hair, can speak (he shouts) and doesn’t dance with a scotch glass on his head to the tune of Jamal Kudu.

One important thing to remember is that if Bobby Deol is not wearing a shirt in a movie, you don’t want to play his brother, you die.

Again just another thing I remembered…..(You know the rest).

Towards the climax there is again a shirtless fight between Suriya (Kanguva) and Bobby a la Animal style. (Action)

Only this time, both of them can speak, both of them can hear, no one suddenly starts singing in Punjabi in the middle of the fight, though actually you are quite speechless and hard of hearing from the constant screaming.

Now if you thought the movie was over ….. Wait….there is one more reincarnation towards the end of the movie.

And here comes the horror part, the reincarnation clearly indicates that there will be a Kanguva 2. And that scared the hell outta me.

#DaMoRating: 2/10

Disclaimer: The 2 points are given, 1 for the snake shooting via bows and 1 for the high jump maaroing sharks. I would have given more points but I won’t till the makers of this movie don’t tell me why no one uses a Kanguva (Marathi wala) in this movie. No One !!!!!