Director: Okay ladies I have a movie for you

Kajol: Yes Yes Yes I wanna do a movie

Kriti: Me too. But I won’t be a robot again

Director: Alright, well, this is not about robots, it’s a thriller

Kajol: A thrillerrrrrrrr

Director: Yes a crime thriller about domestic violence

Kriti: I don’t want to be a domestic robot

Kajol: What character do I play?

Director: There is this character of a lawyer which will suit you well.

Kajol: Dammit but I just played a lawyer in my last web series

Director: Okay there is a Cop role too.

Kajol: Yess. I wanna play cop I wanna play cop I wanna play copppp.

Kriti: Is the lawyer a robot?

Director: Uff that’s not your role Kriti. You are going to play the wife, the victim. Now Kajol, the problem is the Cop gets the first half of the movie and the Lawyer gets highlighted in the second half

Kajol: Can I play both?

Director: A Cop who is a Lawyer?

Kajol: Or a lawyer who is a cop

Director (eats Vimal Pan Masala): Okay done. You play the Cop and the Lawyer

Kajol: Will people accept the same person playing the cop and the lawyer for the same case?

Director: People accept when Ajay tells them to eat Vimal, no?

Kajol: Good point…*hehe*

Kriti: If Kajol is playing two roles even I want to play two roles

Director: Okay Done. You play the wife and her sister….twin sister ooooo this is getting thrilling

Kriti: And none of the sisters is a robot

Director: There are no robots in the movie. Okay all of them are real people.

Kriti: Okay and who is the Husband

Director: That’s going to be Shaheer Sheikh

Kriti: So there is a robot in the movie

Director: Means?

Kriti: He has as much expressions as a robot

Kajol: LoL

Kriti: Khi khi khi khi

Director: Okay pipe down please

Kajol: So does the movie have twists?

Director: Ofcourse the movie has twists. It has so many twists you will feel like you are staring at a bowl of Maggi

Kriti: Do I get to wear short clothes and do smoochie woochie

Director: Is there a movie where you don’t get to do that?

Kriti: Yayyyyy

Director: Also the movie has a message

Kajol: I like messages

Kriti: I like dancing

Director: The movie has a message about Domestic violence and Kriti you get a monologue at the end to deliver the message

Kriti: *dances*

Kajol: I want a monologue at the end too

Director: But…..

Kajol: I am the senior actress. I want a monologue

Director: Okay, you get a monologue too. You can talk about how the spirit of law is more important than the letter of law

Kriti: But won’t that obscure the message of Domestic violence?

Director: Don’t worry, we will put several written messages after the movie to drive it through the audience’s head.

Kriti: Awesome

Director: One last question, Kajol, can you do a pahadi accent?

Kajol: Aay Kaan Tarayyyyy

Director: Okay this is good enough. In any case most people watching Netflix won’t know what a pahadi accent is

Kriti: Do I have to do a pahadi accent too? After all my character is born and brought up there

Director: Can you do a pahadi accent, Kriti?

Kriti: No

Director: Then you don’t need to do one.

Kajol and Kriti: Yayyyy….do you think people will like the movie?

Director: Who cares, Netflix is paying us for it in any case.

And then they made the movie.

#DaMoRating: 3/10

Disclaimer: Everytime I explain my ratings out here. This time I won’t. Nahi karna jao 🤪